We know a lot of very successful, self-assured, and confident people. The one major thing these people have in common is that they do not behave with a “victim mentality.”

They take responsibility for everything. They are self-motivated. As a result, here are the two things you won’t hear them do/say:

  • Blaming (other people, e.g. “It was his/her/their/the world’s fault”)
  • Complaining (about their problems and other people, e.g. “This problem is awful, I wish this didn’t happen!”)

It’s not that they don’t have bad things happen. We all do. But they handle it very differently.

The great news is, if you pay attention to your behaviors, you can stop doing those things, too.

Every time you start, catch yourself either blaming or complaining, STOP, regardless of whether it’s out loud to someone else or even in your own head.

See what a difference it makes in your life. Try it for just one week and watch what happens. It will make you feel more positive and act more positively. And that is attractive!

But wait a minute. What does this have to do with going for no?

We say all the time, there are lessons in your no’s. Sometimes they are painful. So what if you’re talking to the right people, saying the right things, but you are still getting nothing but no’s? Where is the lesson?

It might be you need to look at yourself.

Maybe there is something else you haven’t considered. You’ll need to be honest and open-minded because it’s a tough question.

Are you the type of person other people want to be around, talk to, and do business with?

Or, is nothing ever “going right?” Is the economy awful, it rained after you watered the grass, and your team lost the big game? Are prospects “ghosting” you left and right, and the company has no clue what it’s doing and you’re the only one who does? Maybe the issue has more to do with you.

Oh, don’t get me wrong, we always say you should not take NO personally. And that holds true. It’s not about you, it’s about them. The problem is that they may only want to buy from positive, can-do, hopeful people and you’re just not a pleasant person to deal with.

So, although no is not personal, when you are going for no, make sure that you, personally, also make it attractive to say yes.

Comments? Please let me know your thoughts. And if you liked this post, please share! – AW 

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