Children are the best askers on the planet. As a former child yourself, you might recall this. 😜
Sadly, as we grow up, we lose this. So, let me remind you and let’s see if you can regain the child-like art of asking. Not only do kids embrace the fact that “no” is not something to fear or worry about but they bring other skills to their “asking game.”
They come from a place of curiosity.
Kids have a natural curiosity and open-mindedness so they will ask about anything and everything. (Yes, this can be embarrassing sometimes, but they don’t care so they win.)
They ask without fear.
Kids lack the inhibitions we have. They don’t care what people will think of them and they have no fear of judgment.
They don’t make assumptions.
Kids have no preconceived notions so they don’t talk themselves out of asking. They also have no shame in asking for more and more. Yes, this can get them in trouble but again, they don’t care.
So, if you can keep these things in mind, you are halfway to a successful ask.
There are two aspects to asking.
1… What you are asking for.
2… How you ask for it. While there are a lot of asking strategies, I have found that the best one is to give context to the ask.
It gives you the best chance of getting an answer, ideally a yes.
By this I mean, why are you asking?
Would you give me $100 is a bad ask. If I tell you that I’m raising money for the community to build a pool, you’d do it without hesitation.
The “why” behind the “what” is the key to an effective ask.
Next, is the how. And the “how” is where kids mess up: in their demeanor of asking.
They go from asking to demanding. Or from asking to crying and begging.
Ask politely, respectfully, and positively. Ask as if you’ll get a yes but be more willing to accept a no. (If you are not willing to accept a no, it’s not an ask, it’s a demand.)
Giving context to your ask and doing it in the right way are the two most essential ingredients to asking anything of anyone.
And remember that if you don’t ask, you don’t get.
Please let me know your thoughts. And if you liked this post, please share! – AW
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