What do you do when you have fear of getting a no?

Is it really the no you’re afraid of or something else? Ask yourself, what are you really afraid of? 

Drill down to the root of the fear.

Are you afraid of the ‘no’ because you (desperately) need the yes?
While you might make the absolute best ‘presentation’ and give your best effort – ultimately their decision is theirs. Try to relax and detach from the outcome.

The more stress and pressure you put on yourself the worse it is. It’s not good for others either. It becomes almost palatable. People can sense it and it’s not good. Focus on what you can control, which is yourself. The irony is the more desperate you are, the less effective you are. The reverse is also true. Maintain a physical and mental “posture” of confidence despite any internal anxiety and people will be attracted to you.

Are you afraid of what the person will think of you?
No one wants to make an enemy. Be positive and friendly and you won’t.
Or come across annoying or pushy. If you aren’t that way, you won’t be that way.
Or be judged. Bad news, you could be judged either way for whatever you do or don’t do – no matter what you do.

Think bigger picture.

Are you on a mission?
Do you have something that you believe in so strongly that you need to communicate it and therefore potentially and temporarily irritate someone? Do you believe this person needs to hear your story? Will they judge you over for what you’ve decided to do, share, or pursue?

Stop worrying about the result and focus on your mission. If the person gets upset, thank them for hearing you out and let it go. If they judge you, who cares. You simply cannot afford to allow other people’s thoughts and judgments to rule your life.

Are you afraid of a yes?
I know, weird, right?
Perhaps underlying the fear is some anxiety around being successful. You might have a fear of being exposed – incapable of delivering on what you are providing for that ‘yes.’ Susan Jeffers says most all fear is related to the idea that we “can’t handle” what comes our way. You need to trust in yourself and grow your confidence. (This is the one that may take some work!)

Affirm to yourself that you can handle it. Think about all the great things you have accomplished so far. Realize that you are going to continue on this magnificent journey that you are creating despite these fears. In other words, you are NOT going to say ‘no’ to yourself.

 Comments? Please let me know your thoughts. And if you liked this post, please share! – AW 

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