The Two Kinds of People to Be Around

casey-memeSaw a wonderful quote while re-reading The Success Principles by Jack Canfield. It was under the heading: ‘Drop Out of the Ain’t it Awful Club.’

The quote is from Wyland, the world renowned marine artist who said:

“There are two types of people – anchors and motors. You want to lose the anchors and get with the motors because the motors are going somewhere and they’re having more fun. The anchors will just drag you down.”

Incidentally we were lucky enough to meet Wyland years ago when we were doing retail sales training. We ended up going to a small gathering at his house/art studio in Laguna Beach – you can imagine how cool the place was looking right out onto the ocean and full of his art!

The point is, if you find being dragged down by anchors… maybe it’s a good time to let them lose and speed away.

Comments? Please let me know your thoughts. And if you liked this post, please share! – AW

Have you read Go for No! yet? Pick it up at our store here or on Amazon if you prefer. If you like audio books, you ca find all of our books including Go for No! and the newest, The Diamond Line on Audible.

Follow Up Creates Trust

GFN-FIITFU-finalIt amazes us how few people these days do what they say they will do. Take follow up.  Following up with people (after getting permission to check back with them) who initially say “no” or “not yet” achieves two things right away…

1) It’s statistically smart. Research shows a huge number of people say “no” when first asked to make a decision. Follow up increases your chances to turn that NO into a YES. Following up multiple times can also play to your advantage. Most people will have gone home long after 1, 2, 3 follow up calls or appointments.

2) It creates trust. Suppose you just told someone that you’ll check back with them in 6 weeks or next Tuesday. Then you don’t. What does that say about you and how seriously you take your business? What does it say about you caring to keeping your word?

Following up when you say you will creates TRUST. This brings us back to point #1. People often say NO the first time because of the FEAR of making a bad decision. When you follow up you are demonstrating that you are someone who is serious and that you can be trusted. So, ask to follow up with those NO’s and then DO IT!

Comments? Please let me know your thoughts. And if you liked this post, please share! – AW

Have you read Go for No! yet? Pick it up at our store here or on Amazon if you prefer.

Doing What You Want

GFN-DREAMJPEGThe other day I read a terrific post from a marketing expert and in the comments, someone posted a “yes, but…” reply with a couple excuses about why she couldn’t do what he was suggesting. In my 15+ years training people on our ‘Go for No’ strategies, I have seen a good amount of excuse-making.  (And I have made plenty of excuses myself in my life, don’t get me wrong!)

But, you know that saying, ‘the truth shall set you free?’ I’ve learned that it does and the faster I have told the truth about what I really want, the better.

Richard and I have learned something over the years and that is, you can never get enough of what you don’t want.

In John Maxwell’s book, The Dream Test, (highly recommend, grab it here) he asks ten questions to help you determine if you can turn your dream into a reality.  The very first question seems odd and yet I am willing to bet, is the root of many excuses, stalls, and procrastination.

Question #1: Is my dream really my dream? If you want to achieve your dream, you must “own” it. It must be yours, not your parents’, teachers’, or anyone else’s. If the achievement of a dream is not of great importance to you, it’s unlikely that you will do what’s required to accomplish it.

It’s okay not to want something. It’s okay not to want what everyone else wants.

But it’s a tragedy to get stuck in the middle.You don’t want what people are telling you to want, but you still care about what they think so you grab onto some good excuses and you don’t move. You don’t do anything.  The faster you tell the truth to yourself the quicker you can get on with living the life you really want.

With no excuses.

Comments? Please let me know your thoughts. And if you liked this post, please share! – AW

Have you read Go for No! yet? Pick it up at our store here or on Amazon if you prefer.

Stop Trying to Look Good!

GFNDVDMovieThere are some core reasons why people do everything within their power to avoid hearing NO’s. One of our favorite quotes is from Lisa Jimenez who was one of the amazing guests we had in our Go for No! DVD docu-movie.

Here’s part of what Lisa had to say…

“It’s an interesting reality that we are more committed to looking good. When you get a “No,” you don’t look good, it doesn’t feel good. So we have to be OK with not looking good. We have to be OK with getting dirty, messing up, falling down.”

Lisa is so right on here. What happens when we think we don’t LOOK good? As she says, then we don’t FEEL good. And now here we are not “looking good” and not “feeling good.” What’s next? Doing everything in our power to keeping looking good. And if that means quitting, then often we just quit.

So what to do? For us, we flipped the model. We’ve decided we look BEST when we’re getting No’s, messing up, and falling down.  How do we look to other people? Probably crazy. Who cares. To the extent that you care how you look to other people will be the extent of what you attempt to achieve. And that will make being successful at anything almost impossible.

Comments? Please let me know your thoughts. And if you liked this post, please share! – AW

Have you read Go for No! yet? Pick it up at our store here or on Amazon if you prefer.

 

How a little NO turned into a BIG YES!

Read a great story courtesy of Bill & Steve Harrison’s Reporter Connection. It is a story about a man named Joel Schwartzberg. Joel is the author of The 40-Year-Old Version, a memoir of divorce and parenting his young son. Here is Joel’s “Go for No” story as I read it in Steve & Bill’s Reporter Connection a few years ago:

Joel wrote an essay and pitched it to the editor of Newsweek’s “My Turn” section. The editor said “no” to the essay, but she liked one specific paragraph. Joel took that paragraph and wrote a new essay around it. The subject: post-partum depression in men. The new essay ran in Newsweek. Two years later, the Journal of the American Medical Association published a report about that subject. Looking for commentary, producers Googled “post-partum depression in men,” and Joel’s Newsweek piece came up in every search. As a result, Joel got booked on Good Morning America, CNN and NPR. And it’s all because he turned a “no” into a Newsweek piece.

There will always be failures and rejections and you just never know what “no” will bring your way.

Comments? Please let me know your thoughts. And if you liked this post, please share! – AW

Have you read Go for No! yet? Pick it up at our store here or on Amazon if you prefer.

Making Go for No Work For You

GFN FootballPeople sometimes worry: if I ‘go for no’ I’ll get a no.  I’m expecting that it will happen and so it will happen.

It’s true that expectations can play a role in our mindset and then in our actions. For example, if you’re playing in a softball game – and you believe the other team is really good and that you will lose – that might affect your play. Maybe you don’t put in 100% effort because you’ve already decided your team will simply lose.  And if everyone on the team believes this, you probably will.

Go for No! is never about creating a ‘losing‘ attitude.

It’s about taking a negative reality (rejection) and choosing to react and handle it in the best most positive way. It’s about creating a ‘winning’ attitude – at all times – not just when you get a ‘yes.’ So in that way, we don’t expect a ‘no’ but we do ‘accept’ a no. And that’s empowering.

Comments? Please let me know your thoughts. And if you liked this post, please share! – AW

Have you read Go for No! yet? Pick it up at our store here or on Amazon if you prefer.

Freedom from Taking Things Personally

Pop Art blond girl with snapping hand with speech bubble,.Pop Art girl. Party invitation. Birthday greeting card.Hollywood movie star.Vintage advertising poster. Comic woman with speech bubble. Sexy

When it comes to Go for No, people often ask how they can stop taking the No’s personally. Instead of worrying about not taking ‘no’ personally, learn not to take anything personally – bad or good.

This is one of The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz:

Don’t Take Anything Personally:  Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

The secret is, you can’t anything personally. Even the good stuff.

Think about the idea of having preferences for things: colors, sizes, designs… and then there’s preferences for places, weather, houses, cars, pets, foods… even people. Literally everything in the world merely exists until we place meaning – own judgments and preferences onto them. Sometimes that meaning is good (we like it) or we don’t it. But our preferences reflect only about us and nothing about the ‘thing’ in question.

But we all want love (or at least to be liked) so when we hear something good about us or our work, of course we take it personally! It’s good – and it’s about us! It’s no surprise then, that when it comes to people NOT liking us or our product, service, or creation – we’ve trained ourselves to also take that personally.

The assumption is: if the good stuff is about us then so must the bad be.  And right there is where we get into trouble. Accept none of it.

Read The Four Agreements, it can change your life in this area. You will come to realize that all people’s perceptions, reactions, etc. are all about them and not about you.

Embrace this concept and it will free you.

Comments? Please let me know your thoughts. And if you liked this post, please share! – AW

 

Take the 7 Day Go for No! Challenge

GFN-timetolearnGofornoWhat could you achieve if you spent 7 focused days intentionally increasing the number of times you heard ‘no’ in your business?

How crazy is that?

Well, it just might give you some results that you don’t expect.  If you hate the word ‘no,’ fear being rejected, need to boost to your business and your confidence… this challenge is for you! Start thinking in a new way and new results will follow. And it’s free! Sign up here now:

https://goforno.leadpages.co/gfn7daychallenge

And get the How To Do a 7 Day Go for NO Challenge document here!

GFN7DayChallenge-HOWTODOC-final

 

Do You Ever Really Graduate?

OpportunityfilmIn this month’s NOtivational Article, we share pieces from three wonderful commencement speeches because let’s fact it: when it comes to developing yourself – you never really graduate. You always need the reminders, reinforcement and inspiration to continue to go after what you want.

We highly recommend you go watch the entire presentation online because these pieces, as great as they are – don’t do the whole speech justice.

“I didn’t get the job. But here’s the thing, I didn’t quit. I didn’t fall back. I walked out of there to prepare for the next audition, and the next audition, and the next audition. I prayed and I prayed, but I continued to fail, and I failed, and failed but it didn’t matter because you know what? There’s an old saying, you hang around a barbershop long enough, sooner or later you will get a haircut. You will catch a break.

Last year I did a play called Fences on Broadway and I won a Tony Award. And I didn’t have to sing, by the way. And here’s the kicker, it was at the Court Theater; it was at the same theater where I failed that first audition thirty years prior. The point is, and I’ll pick up the pace, every graduate here today has the training and the talent to succeed but do you have guts to fail?”

Denzel Washington, University of Pennsylvania 2011

“You might never fail on the scale I did, but some failure in life is inevitable. It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you fail by default.

Failure gave me an inner security that I had never attained by passing examinations. Failure taught me things about myself that I could have learned no other way. I discovered that I had a strong will, and more discipline than I had suspected; I also found out that I had friends whose value was truly above the price of rubies.

The knowledge that you have emerged wiser and stronger from setbacks means that you are, ever after, secure in your ability to survive. You will never truly know yourself, or the strength of your relationships, until both have been tested by adversity. Such knowledge is a true gift, for all that it is painfully won, and it has been worth more than any qualification I ever earned.”

J.K. Rowling, Harvard, 2008

“But the only failure is the failure to rescue something. I took away ideas and experiences and relationships with people that profoundly changed what I was able to do when I finally found the place that was for me, which was in medicine.

So you will take risks, and you will have failures. But it’s what happens afterwards that is defining. A failure often does not have to be a failure at all. However, you have to be ready for it—Will you admit when things go wrong? Will you take steps to set them right?—because the difference between triumph and defeat, you’ll find, isn’t about willingness to take risks. It’s about mastery of rescue.”

Atul Gawande, Williams

Comments? Please let me know your thoughts. And if you liked this post, please share! – AW

Have you read Go for No! yet? Pick it up at our store here or on Amazon if you prefer.

Believe It Can be You

GFN-WonderWomanRight now someone is doing exactly what you want.

Instead of being worried that someone might tell then “NO” and instead of letting failure stop them (notice I didn’t say this person is not afraid of these things) someone is living the life you want. They are doing what you want to do.

They are in the type of business you want. They are buying the things you want to buy. They are helping the causes you want to help.

Do you know who this person is?

Someone just like you! The same height… the same weight… the same hair color. Someone with the same fears and apprehensions. The only difference is that they have summoned the courage and mastered the ability to act in the face of fear, to stumble and ‘flee forward’ while everyone else is sitting back and waiting.

Including you, perhaps?

This very minute you have a choice.  Can you believe that it can be you? Commit this quote to memory:
Whatever you want in life, other people are going to want it too. Believe in yourself enough to accept the idea that you have an equal right to it. – Diane Sawyer

Have you read Go for No! yet? Pick it up at our store here or on Amazon if you prefer.

Comments? Please let me know your thoughts. And if you liked this post, please share! – AW