Seth Godin on Rejection

GFN-rejectionisagiftSeth Godin says, “Every rejection is a gift. A chance to learn and to do it better next time.”

When you re-frame getting a ‘no’ in your life and in your business it’s far less painful if you can embrace it and see the benefits.

So like a gift, when you get it – you keep it and decide what to do with it… where to put it. Like a bad Christmas sweater, you can wear it like a badge of honor or tuck it away in shame.

It’s your choice. But that choice doesn’t matter so much now but it does matter in the future. How you view ‘no’ and how you recover massively influences your future interactions and future results.

Comments? Please let me know your thoughts. And if you liked this post, please share! – AW

The key secret society doesn’t want you to know…

… about failure. That was the headline of a recent online video interview I did with Onder Hassan at Dawn of Change.

What is interesting, is that our society claims to value learning from mistakes but often times we see people being publicly shamed or humiliated when failure happens. (Have you checked the #fail hashtag recently?) And yet here is another secret: top achievers and successful people are testing and trying stuff all the time and failing in the process. You just don’t see it and they don’t go out of their way to share it.

So on one hand, you have society looking down on “failure” for the large part, combined with the super successful among us keeping their own failures under wraps.

Luckily the phenomenon is starting to shift. For example, FailCon is a superb example of people coming together, sharing and learning from failures. And there are other people and events contributing to the failure movement; view my list of Failure Philosophers on twitter.  And if you have not visited our facebook page full of positive failure philosophies and every day ‘NOtivation’ visit now!

Have you read Go for No! yet? Pick it up at our store here or on Amazon if you prefer. If you like audio books, you ca find all of our books including Go for No! and the newest, The Diamond Line on Audible.

Encourage Failures Leads to Success

When was the last time you rewarded yourself for getting a NO?

Go for No is a sales philosophy that will help you overcome fear of failure and rejection. In fact you need to seek more of it. However, unless you are recognizing the good in the failure and in the no’s – like a high protein diet… you’ll eventually go back to your old ways.
Reinforcement (despite an outcome which was not ideal) is a must if you are going to repeat it. Encourage yourself… and if you are a leader… encourage your team to fail. Reward it. Talk about it. Success will show up.

Be Bold: Failing Successfully!

by Jeff Shore

Failure is inevitable. We all know that. We learn this fact of life at very young ages and we develop a response to failure that often follows us into adulthood. Most of us learn to adjust our behavior in order to not experience failure, or at least, not the kind of failure that is very obvious or painful.

We attempt ➜ We Fail ➜ We never try again. The End.

On some level, we all know that the above pattern is a natural but entirely juvenile progression. As we develop and grow, we learn to push back on our knee-jerk, immature response to failure. We have countless sayings to describe this:

“No pain, no gain.”
“It has to get worse before it gets better.”
“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”
“If you want the rainbow, you have to put up with the rain.”

And yet.

If we are brutally honest with ourselves, the degree to which we have internalized this reality is not extreme. We set the bar low. We excuse our choices with equally famous phrases like “I’m only human” and “I can only do so much.” Or, we camouflage our choices to not try (risking failure) as choosing balance or contentment…in “being so Zen.”   Humans may be at their most creative when they are trying to justify their own mediocrity.

How often do we unthinkingly change our behavior in order to not experience failure? Put another way, how much and how often do we not try just so we don’t fail? If you’re reading this, you have to be breathing and if you are breathing, you are alive and if you are alive, the answer to that question is: MUCH more often than you realize!   As evolved as any one of us may be, the magnet-like pull to avoid failure is immeasurably strong and somehow, every day, we give in to it.

If you imagine a typical day in your head, starting at the beginning, it won’t take you long to come to the first occurrence of something you do mainly to avoid failure. Take a moment to imagine the best that could happen in that scenario and then choose to start there, adjusting your actions based on possible success instead of the fear of failure. And know this: it may not “work.” Failure leads to failure leads to failure…until it doesn’t! Success ONLY comes after failure and usually that looks like this:

Failure ➜ Failure ➜ Failure ➜ Failure ➜ Failure ➜ Success!

Mediocrity requires no change. Success demands it. The path to growth is a direct route to your own failure…and your own success. You are not a child, you can do this. Be bold: fail successfully!

About the Author:

Jeff Shore is a highly sought-after sales expert, speaker, author and executive coach whose innovative BE BOLD methodology teaches you how to change your mindset and change your world. His latest book, Be Bold and Win the Sale: Get Out of Your Comfort Zone and Boost Your Performance, is forthcoming from McGraw-Hill in January 2014. Learn more at jeffshore.com and follow Jeff on Twitter.

Go for No from The Courage Crafters
www.goforno.com

Quit Taking It Personally

Follow this Q-Tip Philosophy. I’ll be discussing this idea in greater depth on Breakthrough Business Strategies Radio with Michele Price, Monday, October 28th at Noon Eastern.

Please join us as I will be talking about the foundations of getting over this insidious habit that has the power to delay and destroy success!

Go for No from The Courage Crafters
www.goforno.com

New and Improved Way to Create the Future You Want

Sometimes a new idea comes along that turns all the old models of thinking upside down. We like to think ‘Go for No’ did that for fear of rejection. Well, now here is new way to simply ask a new kind of question that can immediately change your life.

A friend of ours, author Noah St. John, has just released his new book from Hay House, The Book of Afformations: Discovering The Missing Piece to Abundant Health, Wealth, Love, and Happiness and it’s an amazing read. (We’ve personally used Noah’s method and it works.)
Noah tells the story of how he invented Afformations one morning in 1997. He was in the shower when he asked himself a question that changed his life: Why are we trying to change our lives saying statements we don’t believe when the human mind responds automatically to something even more powerful?  Here are just a few of the remarkable, real-life stories from people around the world who have used Noah’s Afformations Method to change their lives…
1) Sam and Shirley from Phoenix had been trying to sell their home for over a month with no luck. After a friend told them about Afformations, they started afforming that their house would be sold at the right price. Less than 24 hours later, a couple made an offer on their home, and Sam and Shirley got the price they were looking for.
2) Chris, a finance expert from Canada, had never been able to raise large amounts of money. After using Afformations and listening to Noah St. John’s iAfform Audios for less than 3 weeks, Chris closed his first million dollar client.

3) Michael from Germany was a chronic procrastinator. He and his wife Silvia had decided to get a divorce. In fact, the divorce papers were on the desk waiting to be signed. At the last moment, Michael decided to share Noah’s teaching of Afformations with Silvia. Something switched. They decided not to get a divorce, are best friends again, and share their list of Afformations with each other every day.
4) Amy was having constant chest pains and panic attacks due to crushing debt and mounting financial pressure. Every day, she considered suicide just to be free from the pain. A friend told her about Noah’s Afformations System, and Amy read it. That very night, she slept well for the first time in nearly a year. The feelings of panic, anxiety, and overwhelm left her, and she never considered suicide again.
5) Michael was very dissatisfied with his job. He often wondered why he bothered to come into work at all. Then he heard about Afformations and started using them. A few weeks later, Michael approached his company’s CEO with a proposal for a new position. The proposal was accepted and Michael created his own dream job at more than twice his original salary.
6) Jody was a talented singer/songwriter who was facing enormous medical bills as a result of a long illness. She was working long hours in a dental office to pay the bills. She became so exhausted, she didn’t have the time or energy to express her true gifts. Jody attended Noah’s seminar and heard him teach about Afformations. It was one of the biggest Aha! moments of her life. She started using Afformations and is now an award-winning, full-time musician.
These are all great stories but the better question is… what story amazing will you create using Afformations? 
Don’t wait. Watch this trailer now http://afformationsbook.com
Go for No from The Courage Crafters
www.goforno.com

Embracing Rejection Increases Your Opportunities!

When you embrace ‘no’ and allow yourself to explore opportunities, experiences, business deals, sales… all with a potential rejection, your opportunities for success increase as well. Because we’ve all been programmed to believe in chasing ‘success’ we tend to go for the sure thing. You what the sure thing is? Usually the safest thing too. As our friend Randy Gage says, “Risky is the New Safe.” Risk your ego… embrace failure… rejection… and potential no’s for bigger dreams, a new world, and a much better pay off!

Go for No from The Courage Crafters
www.goforno.com

Challenge Yourself to Get NO!

How many NO’s can you collect in 30 Days?
It’s time for another Go for No! 30 Day Challenge! 

There are plenty of ‘success’ challenges. Finally here is one where you are going to fail more and celebrate it when you do! How’s that for a re-frame? The goal is to reduce your stress, increase the fun, and get better results in the end.

Sign up for the free webinar, October 1st, with me, Andrea Waltz, co-author of Go for No! 
http://bit.ly/19XlZvi

Go for No from The Courage Crafters
www.goforno.com

Removing What Restrains You

We all are looking for improvement in our lives and businesses quickly. We want the magic bullet that will speed us along… the super-charge for our gas tank. Okay, you get the metaphors.

But just as powerful – we think more powerful, is removing what restrains you.  The reality is no matter how much you rev the engine, if your foot is pressed down on the brake, you don’t move.

Fear of failure… fear of NO… fear of rejection… is one of the most powerful and devastating of all “restrainers” in people’s businesses, sales careers, and their lives. Remove that and see how far and fast you can really go.
 

Go for No from The Courage Crafters
www.goforno.com

Billionaire Blakely’s Dad was Failure-Loving Father

Sara Blakely, billionaire founder of the women’s undergarment sensation Spanx, wasn’t just encouraged to succeed by her father… she was encouraged to fail. 

She was quoted as saying, “my father used to ask my brother and me what we had failed at recently and then congratulate us. He did complete reverse psychology on us.  Failure was something we sought out and not this scary thing. I think many people are debilitated by the fear of failure, so he gave us a real gift.”

Sara has also said that over time, because of his encouragement and (literal) high-fives for failing that her definition of failure became not trying. Looks like her Dad’s failure-focus paid off!

Go for No from The Courage Crafters
www.goforno.com